Pig Call
I debated (internal, but quite seriously) about wearing a bikini this time. Five years ago when I went to the beach, a group of teenagers shouted at me on the beach. To be more specific, they squealed "SOOOoiieee." For those of you unfamiliar with this, it's a pig call. I knew it from when I used to feed the pigs at summer camp. Fortunately and unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time who was with me, did not know what it meant. I had the terrificly unpleasant experience of explaining to him that his girlfriend had just been pig called on the beach. It was devastating and unforgettable.
To those emasculated cowards who addressed me on the beach that day: this one's for you. Your acne probably still plagues you. Your miniscule testicles will never get bigger. Those girls who laughed when you called me that don't date your kind any more. You're sunk.
Me, on the other hand, I am doing okay. I have a chance. And I like my bikini. And I am thankful for the body that fills it. These legs have walked through fascinating places in dozens of foreign countries. These arms have held the babies born to dear friends. They have hugged adored family members and countless friends. They have hugged grandparents for one last time. They have waved and cheered and signaled and reached. That tummy has had nutritious and plentiful food. That round face holds a smile that is grateful and kind. Though the heart works hard to keep this large body going, it works even harder to hold all the joy my life has brought so far.
Bikini? Yes.
posted by lulicious @ 8:37 AM
3 Comments:
Seriously, the debate about wearing a bikini or not is futile. I mean, if you don't wear one, then nobody is going to know you're over weight? Then why not just dress in garbage bags too? It's not logical. Same idea as minimizer bras. Soooo stupid.
Lucia, you are doing so well with this and I am so proud of you. I can't believe the way you talk to yourself. It is VERY hard for me to accept. I wish I could speak to that person and eradicate all those thoughts. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Escape. Es-cop-eh.
We all have fat days and speak negatively to ourselves and know we shouldn't do it. The other day, I passed a window and caught a good glimpse of myself from the side. To my surprise, someone had stuffed something under my dress in the back. The only thing that has helped me to stick with running now is the fact that going and making the effort lets me let myself off the "I'm a lazy slob fat American" hook. That temporary relief is enough to get me to the next running day. See what I mean? I find going the extra mile, no pun intended, is the only way I get a break from myself. That relief period is more valuable to me than the pain or trial of the actual running.
I sure do love you. Can't wait to move home.
Having just purchased my first real bikini (not a tankini, not a boy shorts pseudo bikini, but a proper bikini), I've decided that everyone looks better in a bikini... because as your sister correctly points out, it's not as if you're really hiding anything by wearing a one piece. Bikinis at least exude confidence and sexiness... no matter what size or shape you are.
Besides, fat or skinny, one piece or bikini, there are lots of stupid people out there who say stupid things. Best to tune them out because whether you lose 0 pounds, 10 pounds or 100 pounds, they will still be there, saying bizarre and offensive things. And I promise you, it happens to all of us. Take, for instance the woman at the vegetable market who asked me how far along I was... and then when I explained that I was not pregnant, proceeded to argue with me in an attempt to convince me that I must be pregnant because how else could I have my belly?
Nancy
ditto Stew.
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