Always a Bridesmaid...

Or maybe not...I don't know about yours but my grandmother used to say Nosirreebob. (No sir, Bob...whoever Bob was.) That is what I thought about this little get-up. It was a toughie. A friend who is getting married asked me to be a bridesmaid but selected the largest size of which comes in well, not so large. I tried. I cried. I felt so sad, embarrassed and sick. My pig behavior rears its ugly head again. And I got mad. Then I got determined. Though I felt pretty slaughtered emotionally, I saw this, at bottom, for what it was, the universe's call to arms! Back to the arms Lucia! And the legs. Tummy. Chest. Neck. Let's go Dollface! Mixed blessing - you know, it's true, clouds with silver linings and all that. When I am aware enough to realize (rare!) I am amazed that that universe/ gods that be/ karma/ mother nature/ the Tao is still looking out for little old me. Ah, in those rare moments I am full and peaceful. I must have done something right.

Standing in Anthropologie yesterday (a.k.a. the place that will officially bankrupt me the second I can wear their clothes. And I am warning you, er, warning me, that I am not far off), wrestling with my wallet over some beaded hair ties and some olive oil hand butter, I read a book. Well, okay, I read part of a book, several parts actually. Here is the part that I was meant to read, the reason I wandered in to the store after returning the dress that doesn't fit (see photo insert) to the nearby J.Crew (the reason this whole dress fiasco happened? Maybe. I can make a case for tracing it back that far... that's how important this part of the book was.) I know - the build up. I hope everyone reading this already knows it....(drum roll...I am such a pest!)...You cannot value others the way you think you can until you value yourself. I took two meanings 1) the obvious one and 2) I must dig myself more than I ever imagined. I love my friends so much and do value them beyond value so I must value myself in the process. Hopefully also obvious.

Activity today: sweating profusely in negotiations with the New York City Dept. of Education on a rare day when I was a real lawyer.
Don't sweat it (heh), today is my one day off in 7. I have to let my body recuperate. Yesterday I was so hungry, even Norma's Fancy Feast looked delish. And boy was it ever! (I know you think I am nuts but you didn't actually go for that, didja?)

Thanks for all the support. Let's just pick back up where we left off and call this thing what it is: a life. Work in progress.

TGIF!