Hoover, but I hardly even know her

Its photo is small but the machine is powerful. According to epinions, it "sucks so hard it could leave hickeys!" (no joke.)http://www.epinions.com/content_32755519108

My housekeeper has complained for months that my fake vaccuum cleaner can't get the cat hair out of the rug. I am sure it can't do much more than that. I tried to politely explain that I could either afford a housekeeper or a new vacuum cleaner, but not both at once. So, I have now capitulated and am the proud owner of a hickeymaker. It was shipped, because there is no way to receive it at home, to my office. Well, this was embarrassing. But nothing like getting it home... As usual, I thought approaching the situation with humor was the best idea. I took the attachments home in one trip and then body last night. I got myself all psyched up, dressed appropriately (no flip-flops) and made my plan: quickest cab I could get. Got down to the street with hoover in tow and brow in furrow. I was concentrating on theme song options and lamenting the lack of videographer to document my plight (which would later be set to appropriate theme song). Because I had taken the handle home in the first trip, I had to carry this pup like a kid, slung on my hip, both arms around. I was tickled. Then, a woman walking towards me started to giggle. Then my theme song came to me: hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go...hi ho hi ho hi ho. At the same time these two bolts were striking, I was going for a near head on with a well tanned (though not naturally) much older woman - had to be a Florida retiree - with a red and white striped sequined shirt who had DIPPED herself in a vat of old lady perfume. I short circuited. While trying to say something witty to the laughing woman and simulaneously sub-consciously trying to name that perfume in one note, my brain crossed wires. I laughed and growled "Youth Dew!" Then just hugged my little sucker and laughed all the way to the corner. I love my life.