305
I am a pig. I can't just eat a cup of yogurt and be satisfied. I haaave to lick the top too. Just for that little extra bit. Do you do that? Am I the only one? What's up with that? Really, no need for that. Maybe I just like licking. Or maybe I am terrified that the lid yogurt is the last there will ever be. No more yogurt. Uck.
Okay, let's try to restate this in a more positve way.
Restatement attempt 1: Well, pigs aren't so bad. They are, after all, pink - oh lauded favorite color of bubble gum and my childhood bedroom. They are intelligent (moreso than many non-pigs that ride the New York city subway). And they get to eat all they time. and forget about manners. Downsides: mud, miniature legs, stinky.
Restatement attempt 2: I am sensual. I like to experience my yogurt in a meaningful way. I relish each taste... oh forget it. I am just going to see if I can stop licking the top. Enough. Done.
Onwards and downwards. So, the tip top jumping off point is 305. That is the point I either leave slowly or literally just jump. I chose and choose slowly. In September of 2004 was my highest high of my lowest low. 305 pounds. (The picture is from a friend's wedding. I look like I might be about to eat that child. Hoss. Nice cleavage. Call Guinnes - Four boobs. Ooh la la. Not for long.) Wow. More than 1/10 of a ton. More than two of my healthier friends. Appalling. Lots more later on how I may have gotten there. Much, much more on how I get away from there! Today, I focus on being hopeful that I can change. I intend to turn that hope into conviction. And then the conviction into results. Today I am 278.6. This is where we start this thing together. 278.6. Okay? (Okay. Oh, a little cheerleader coming out here!)
Went to Curves this morning. Thought of all of you who may eventually read this. Thought of the power of our combined struggles and the strength of how emotional it has been so far. Was inspired and happy. Stayed the requisite 30 minutes, slithered home in a cloud of my own fumes, showered (magically continued to sweat IN the shower), then walked to work. I imagined that I looked fit as I walked. I imagined that I looked glamorous - my idea of glamorous. Totally ignored my reflection in a window because it tried to tell me otherwise. I imagined...daydreaming it into being. Baby steps. And some humor.
Workout song for the day: Dare Me by the Pointer Sisters. "Baby make your move, step across the line... Come on and dare me."
Yummy food for the day: Acitivia Yogurt, prune flavored. Yes, prune. Go ahead, see if you don't think it's the best one too. A check of www.activia.com will tell you why this yogurt is better than the others. And lick the lid!
posted by lulicious @ 10:23 AM
4 Comments:
Lulicious, I feel your pain. I feel disgusting ALL THE TIME. What to do? I am too friggin' tired to go to the gym in the am, and I stay at work waaaayyyyy too late (as you well know).
I think you are so brave to be starting this blog and to be putting it all out there. I am not there yet, but when I am ready, I am going to admit my weight, too. It really shouldn't be something you have to "admit," though, should it? I shouldn't have to feel bad about the way I look, but I do - the way I look makes me feel horrible.
I commit to going to the gym twice this weekend. Yes! Go cheerleader person!
And, for the record, prune Activia ROCKS. I luuurrvvee it. I think the other flavors suck, though.
And, by the way, I always lick the top of the yogurt. Partly because I love it, partly because it seems wasteful not to, and partly because I don't want the trash to stink after I throw it out.
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
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